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dani's avatar

I’m in my early twenties, and I’ve only been on one date ever, after meeting on hinge. I over analyzed and grieved the whole thing, thought about how maybe i shouldn’t have said or did some things, or how my own wounds and flaws were present in that whole experience. But one thing I’ve stood firm on in all of my romantic, and dating experiences is that i require a slow burn, honest friendship first, and if something romantic comes out of it then so be it.

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Alexis Dove's avatar

Thank you for reading & for being so vulnerable! I can somewhat relate to your experience after your first date, so I empathize deeply but you’re learning. We are all learning. It is so incredible that you gave yourself the space to reflect and grieve that moment. Standing on your boundaries will take you so so far & you are wise beyond your years for recognizing that & honoring yourself.

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Joanne's avatar

Arguably, I’m quite young (barely in my midtwenties) and I do think about the sentiments you’ve shared. It makes me feel less alone. I’m not hopeless at the idea of finding romantic love, but I never expected to think to myself, “it would be nice to share these pockets of quietness with someone.”

To focus on oneself instead of mindlessly making fragile, superficial connections seems reasonable at best. After all, a healthy relationship is built on a strong foundation of knowing oneself. But I question for long am I going to wait until someone comes around and takes my earnest heart as seriously as I do?

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Alexis Dove's avatar

🫂 i ask myself the same question often. I think for now we just do as you said, focus on ourselves and nurture meaningful connections with others

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